Sharon is my why
Sharon always believed in me and cheered me on especially when I didn’t or couldn’t believe in myself.
You see, Sharon knew what it was to not believe in oneself and to feel like no one had her back. She knew what it was to be the underdog, to not be seen or valued.
Sharon was born the youngest of seven children after a miscarriage and a stillborn and with five boisterous, big brothers and a big sister 14 years older than her. Worst of all, she was a girl born to a father who was a mean alcoholic and didn’t value or respect women of any age.
Sharon developed all of the coping mechanisms needed to survive her childhood only to have them get in the way of everything she desired once she became an adult. Mechanisms like:
Being invisible as possible
Put others and their needs before her own
Working hard
Not speaking up or advocating for herself or her needs (why bother, they didn’t matter anyway, right?)
Staying in professional roles she had long outgrown
Dreaming big dreams, yet never taking action to make them come true
Stuffing her feelings down with food, reading and shopping for things she didn’t need
Holding on to old hurts, beliefs and things that no longer served her
Not caring for her physical or mental health
Deferring important decisions until it was too late
I developed some of these same coping mechanisms growing up – methods to handle life often are passed along in families. My mom was Sharon’s big sister and became an aunt when I was born.
Unlike Sharon (and my mom), I wasn’t willing to believe that I was powerless to change my beliefs and my life and I choose to release old hurts. As I found ways that worked for me, I shared them with Sharon (my mom didn’t share my belief in change). As I trained in the methods that worked best so that I could help others, Sharon always was one the first to experience what I learned.
After working with me, Sharon experienced some great results:
In partnership with her doctor, she started tapering off antidepressants
She landed a better job at a higher salary, with better benefits and was on track for a promotion
She set boundaries with people, something she had never done before
Made better financial decisions
Let go of old hurts and beliefs, as well as boxes of physical possessions
She said working with me was like getting an “adult reboot,” because she was feeling and thinking so much better and finally was able to take action on things she had only dreamt of previously.
Unfortunately, we will never know how many of Sharon’s dreams would have come to pass with her newfound confidence and ease. Today would have been her 61st birthday. She passed away from natural causes in February.
Help me celebrate her birthday by reaching out to that super solid performer you’re friends with or work with, you know, the one that is the glue that holds everyone and everything together, generous with her knowledge and time, and take a few minutes to let her know how much you see and appreciate her!