New Year's Resolutions Don't Work
What to do instead for lasting change
New Year’s Resolutions don’t work
But you already know that on some level. Research shows that most of us give up on them by the end of January.
New Year’s Resolutions don’t work because…
We expect instant results rather than incremental gains that add up over time.
We start from a position of weakness, wanting to move AWAY from something that makes us feel bad about ourselves rather than moving TOWARDS something that makes us feel good about ourselves AND we have no idea of what that feels or looks like.
We approach them with an attitude of all or nothing, rather than having a plan to get back on the wagon when we fall off (because we will) and allowing ourselves grace when it happens. We’re human, which means we will make mistakes and we will fall off the wagon as we make changes in our lives.
We focus more on what is happening outside of us than we do on what is happening inside of us as we make changes. We need change our understanding, beliefs and feelings (what is going on in our minds inside of us) about what we want to change just as much as we need to change our actions (what we do outside of us).
We tear ourselves down with our self talk rather than cheering ourselves on – hyperfocusing on how we are afraid to mess up or that we did, rather than focusing on all the times we’ve gotten it right.
We don’t have a strong reason WHY we want the changes we’ve resolved to have to fuel us when the going gets tough.
This year, why not try…building a strong foundation for long-lasting change by:
Knowing what you want
Figuring out what you believe about it
Why you want it, and
Creating a plan of how to get it, including cheering yourself along and handling the obstacles you’ll encounter along the way?
Feeling brave? Share the WHY behind your desire to change in comments